But the clock is ticking.EDIT : I originally wrote this article almost 7 years ago.
WTF am I going to do if I’m still single at 40? Will other gay men think I’m toxic because I’m still “available”? Deep inside, I kind bet that’s exactly what they’ll think. What’s sick about it is that in the straight world, 36 is considered young. In gaydom, that doesn’t make me “ancient” but I am creeping towards “older”. In a few weeks it will be my 36 th birthday. They have it in their mind that it’s got to be a “match” on the first date – period.ĭoesn’t it take more than just one cup of coffee or one meal to get to know somebody? That’s what I try to do when I’ve met other men.Īll I keep finding are guys who are looking for “the one”. All I require is authenticity and a desire to let someone in. Perhaps my expectations are just messed up. I’m tired of hooking up with men who are sexual robots men who wouldn’t know real passion if it hit them on the head. I so badly want someone to top me like that give a s*hit, not like I’m some cheap piece of trade. I recognize that sex is an important part of most relationships.īut having sex and making love are two different things. Without being graphic, I’m pretty versatile. The guys I’ve been with certainly haven’t complained. I’m giving it to you.Īnd it’s not like I’m horrible in bed or anything. I guess my biggest fear now is that nobody is going to want to date an aging gay who has little history of “being” with someone.
Does 2-years count as “long term?” Because that’s my high point. Some relationships went on longer than others. Kind of like a ticking alarm clock that you know will eventually go off and scream: Times up! Is it just me or does it seem like once you get into your middle 30’s, the pressure to couple up starts mounting. Just an average looking gay man who tries to take care of himself. I may not turn everyone’s head when I walk into a room but I’m not hideous.
It sucks because I’m one of those gays who truly wants to be in a relationship and build something special, like a family, you know? But after a while, things fizzle out.Ī lot of the guys I meet are just flakes – looking for “someone better” I guess. Oh sure, we might go out on a few dates and have some laughs. Related: Gay dating when you’re super attractive isn’t easyīut it just seems like each time I start seeing a guy, it goes nowhere. I go to gay related charity events and am no stranger to the bars. I’m on OK Cupid, Match, Hornet and even a few of the hook up apps for good measure. And it’s not like I don’t put myself out there. I have a strong set of friends, a great dog and a wonderful family. I keep wondering when “someday” will arrive. Now-a-days, when a guy looks my way, it’s a rarity.īack then, I used to believe it when people would say, “Don’t rush into anything – one day the right guy will come along.” When I was in my 20’s, I could attract guys like a magnet. Some are gay and some are straight but all of them have somebody.Ĭan I be honest with you? What really scares the crap out of me is that I’m not getting any younger. And if they aren’t getting hitched, they are at least involved with someone. Whenever I look around, another one of my friends is getting married. My mind translates it into: Why haven’t you got your s*hit together yet? Has anyone ever told you that? Did it make you feel like crap? I’m sure there was no malice intended behind those words but they cut like a knife just the same. I guess what sparked my anxiety is a recent comment a friend from yester-year made to me when we ran into each other at a bar.